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YOU ARE IN ERROR. NO ONE IS SCREAMING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
The Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy. The Computer will help you become happy. This will drive you crazy. Being a citizen of Alpha Complex is fun. The Computer says so, and The Computer is your friend. Many traitors threaten Alpha Complex. Many happy citizens live in Alpha Complex. Most happy citizens are crazy. Which are more dangerous—traitors or happy citizens?
Rooting out traitors will make you happy. The Computer tells you so. If you are not happy, The Computer will use you as reactor shielding. Being a Troubleshooter is fun. The Computer tells you so. Do you doubt The Computer, citizen? Troubleshooters get shot at, stabbed, mangled, incinerated, poisoned, stapled, blown to bits and accidentally executed. This is so much fun many Troubleshooters go crazy. You work with many Troubleshooters. They all carry lasers. Aren’t you glad you have a laser too? Won’t this be fun?
Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!
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